Pastoral Leadership, Spiritual Life

We Welcome Refugees

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Sometimes a single photograph can change the world. Sometimes one photo can grab our attention, awaken our senses, and change our perspective. The recent photo of 3-year-old Aylan’s body being washed ashore on a Turkish beach and carried away by a policeman has grabbed the attention of our world. This heartbreaking photo has raised awareness about the refugee crisis in Syria and worldwide.
As followers of Christ, we see the images and cry out, “Lord, have mercy. Things are absolutely NOT the way they are supposed to be!”
Our first response might be to ask, where is God in this?
BUT WHAT IF GOD IS ASKING US, WHERE ARE YOU IN THIS?
Jesus talked of loving our neighbors as we love ourselves. Can you imagine if Aylan were your child? What does it mean to love a stranger and empathize with his or her pain even at a great distance? Do we grieve deeply over the displacement and desperation of thousands upon thousands of refugees’ lives? How can we tenderize our hearts to break as God’s does for those who suffer, knowing that He loves each of them as He loves each of us? What does love require of us?
Christ’s love compels us to care and to act, to respond to this crisis now with the urgency that all human life deserves. For this reason, Platt Park Church has partnered with the global movement #WeWelcomeRefugees. I encourage you to visit http://www.wewelcomerefugees.com to educate yourself further on what is going on in Syria and worldwide-and how the American Christian church, including us, can extend practical compassion.
Let the photographs we see and the stories we hear move us from where we are now to somewhere new, through the Holy Spirit’s wisdom and guidance.
Pastoral Leadership, Spiritual Life

Accepting Limits

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I’m the kind of person who likes to have a lot of things going on in life. When I was a kid, my mom would tease me about how I would start a project, and then go play with a friend, and then come back to the project, and then start another project in the middle of that project. I also like to break away from all that is going on and embrace solitude and silence right in the middle of a full life. It is how I operate best. Sometimes I have too much going on and have to scale back, and other times there is not enough challenge, and I feel bored, so I think and pray about what the next arena of involvement might be.
But lately, I have been thinking about limits.  I’ve been trying to identify and accept the limits of my season with a new little one at home. Bringing Lyla home has been one of the most amazing and humbling experiences of my life. It is a dream come true! I feel so full of gratitude every single day for the gift of Lyla in our family. Annnnndddd….going from 1 kid to 2 kids is no joke!  Life feels much fuller now!
Vocationally, I am regularly asked to be involved in extra things. Can you speak at this event? Can you mentor me? Can you lead this group? Recently I said yes to an extra speaking opportunity when I knew in my heart I should say no. I really wanted to do it, though and it is for a great church, and so I said yes. Here’s the thing: every time I say yes to something extra, I say no to time at home with Lyla and Russell.  I am so aware that they are “little people” for such a short time, and already it feels like it’s going fast. (Well, some days are long, but the years are going fast!) I don’t want to miss this. I want to be present. I want to be here.
Shortly after saying yes to that engagement (when I knew I should’ve said no,) another request came my way. Thankfully, I had the presence of mind to respectfully decline, and I’m so glad I did!  Accepting the limits of this season is about honoring what God has called me to and recognizing that really and truly there are a multitude of other people – amazing people – who can say yes, when I need to say no.
Can you relate? I’d love to hear your stories of accepting limits.
Spiritual Life

Words

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Do you remember that phrase from childhood that goes, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.”
Actually that is not true. In fact, that is a total and complete lie.
Just the other day I was talking with a woman who told me about an intense fight she had with her husband and in the middle of that fight she said, “maybe we should just get a divorce” and then walked out the door.
Words are powerful. Some words kill and others bring life. Words name things. If you name a child stupid or dull, they may live with that for life.  Some words are like toxic chemicals we put in the ground, and nothing good can grow there again for some time. There are likely things that were said to you in childhood that are still polluting the way you see yourself today.
Words can get in you and they pierce you, like a sword, they go inside. Not just physically and psychologically but also in a community. I am incredibly grateful for the spirit of Christ I see in our faith community today, but we’ve probably all experienced hurtful words destroying community. Words have the power to destroy people and groups. That is why the scriptures say that, “gossip separates close friends.”
The reason gossip is so destructive is because it immediately destroys what we need most in life – relationship – and when there is gossip, a barrier is immediately put up. Once that barrier is up, we enter a process of hiding. When we are hiding we cannot be seen or known, and the relationship is halted.
Words have the power to destroy, but words also have the power to heal. “The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Proverbs 12:18
How can you use your words to bring healing and wholeness, encouragement and insight to the people you interact with today?
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Batten Down the Hatches

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Last summer Tim and I picked up an old sailboat from Craigslist. The sailboat’s name is inscribed on its side: SoulMate. Now, we don’t exactly know how to sail (which our friends love to tease us about), but we sure love trying and even just hanging out in the slip and motoring around Lake Dillon. Frisco Marina has become one of my favorite places to go be quiet and contemplative.
Today, I woke up insanely early and drove to Frisco to watch the sunrise from SoulMate. When I first arrived, it was 48 degrees. I had my hoodie up and I was bundled in blankets as I read, journaled, and prayed. But then it started to warm up, as it usually does, and pretty soon I shed the hoodie and looked for ways to hide from the intensity of the Colorado sun. And then, without warning, clouds rolled in, and a thunderstorm began. I scrambled to “batten down the hatches” before my laptop got too wet. Now I sit inside SoulMate, waiting out the storm, watching the billowing clouds, listening to the patter-pat-pat of rain, feeling the movement of the boat as the waves crash against its sides, and smelling that combination of lake+storm… I am happily and safely soaking it all in.
In life, weather can change so fast. Sometimes you’re doing great, full of joy and thankfulness, and then out of nowhere a wave of loneliness, grief or deep soul fatigue can overtake you. Other times, despair presses against us so heavily that it seems we are forever trapped, and a shaft of human kindness or natural beauty shocks us with hope. In every shifting season, God offers us himself as our SoulMate. Sometimes we have to intentionally batten down the hatches of our lives and hide with Christ in God. This can mean refusing to be too busy for daily stillness. It can mean steeping ourselves in Scripture or music or outdoor beauty or camping… or whatever nourishes us and reminds us of God’s deep and personal love for us. To live in the love of Christ is to live moment by moment, in season and out of season, in the knowledge of our belovedness in Him. God is our best SoulMate, the maker and lover and ever-present refuge for our souls.
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Lessons in Belonging

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Our need for belonging is imprinted on our souls from the first moment we take a breath. Have you ever considered the source of this longing for belonging? Belonging begins with God. Before humans ever existed, God existed in perfect, loving relationship between Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. The three persons of the Trinity belonged to each other long before the creation of our world. One day, this perfect circle of eternal love decided to widen the circle and create humanity. These created people would not be divine, but would be made in the image of God and would be designed to live and move and have their being IN GOD. By sharing in the love between the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, people could also extend belonging to each other.
God did not create us because he was bored. He did not create humans simply to do the chores he didn’t want to do. Rather, God wanted to share his perfect, beautiful, and eternal experience of belonging.
Newborn babies need human touch to survive. It is part of our internal wiring-part of the image of God imprinted on us. When we feel ourselves to be separated from others and/or from God, we suffer deeply. Sometime, we even withdraw further from love which could actually heal us.
During August, we are doing a series called “Lessons in Belonging.” Over the next several weeks we are going to tease this out, and I really hope you’ll come. If you are anything like me, you might find that your desire to belong is matched by some commitment-phobe tendencies. So we are going to look at what to do with disillusionment and how do we practice vulnerability. I hope you’ll join us for this journey in belonging.
Belonging-Main-Graphic-Slide
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Consuming Fire

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Recently, after some time in silence and prayer with my spiritual director, an image of God’s spirit as holy fire pervaded my mind. I desire the fire of God’s spirit to purify my life. Fire understandably sounds scary to us; we don’t want to be burned. But as I reflected on this image of God, I was drawn to the fire and inspired by all the good in it.

God’s spirit is like a fire that consumes everything that is not love in my life: my ego, my agendas, my competitiveness, my fear, all the ways I hoard because I think of resources as scarce. In the presence of God’s Holy Spirit, all of that is burned away. What remains is this simple truth: God is love, and I am in God, so I am loved. This is the gold that is purified when all else burns away. When I quiet myself to sit and receive His love like a child, I become aware of all the other things I was seeking and propping up for His and others’ approval. In the stillness, all that other stuff gets stripped away, and the truest things about God and about me emerge. These pure truths are all I ever want and all I ever need.

When I leave spiritual direction, I leave the silence. Almost immediately, as I drive down Santa Fe Boulevard, a host of little ambitions, distractions and agendas re-emerge in my mind and heart. Silence leads me into the presence of Holy God, Consuming Fire, and I need that daily practice so that my life may be constantly distilled and purified.

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Dear Russell

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Dear Russell,

I am a blubbering mess. I just cannot seem to stop crying. Every time I think about leaving for this trip to China to pick up your sister Lyla, I find myself in a pile of tears. It’s not the fact that I won’t see you for two weeks, though that will be hard. The reason for my tears is because I know when I say goodbye to you and board that plane, I am saying goodbye to an era with you – a very special season of life when you have been my one and only baby, and we have been a family of just three. That season is coming to a close, and it is so sad to say goodbye.
This past season of life with you has been so special to me. I remember when we found out that you were the size of a sesame seed inside of me. I remember the day we brought you home from the hospital, the moment you took your first step, and the first time you said, “I love you too, Mommy.” All of these memories and countless more I hold in my heart as priceless gifts. I love being your mom.
Maybe I am grieving the changes that will come as you continue to grow up. This whole grieving of you growing up is no joke, evidenced by my constant crying – whew!  In moments like this, life’s pains seem to teach my heart new depths. Right now before God, I am remembering that you’re not mine. Oh, I talk about you like you’re “my” child, but ultimately you’re not – you belong to God – and you are a gift to me. You have been entrusted to my care – and it is one of the greatest honors, privileges and joys of my entire life – but ultimately you lie in the hand of a great God who loves to give good gifts. You are a gift to me, a very, very good gift, and I honor the wonderfulness of you by sharing you with God.

Jesus keeps inviting me to let go and die a little. Leaving this season with you, relinquishing this era, feels like a little death. I want to freeze time and never let this go, never let you go, never have to hear you say, “Hold me, Mommy,” for the last time, never have to wave goodbye as one of us leaves the other. But Jesus keeps beckoning me to let go, to relinquish control and remember that you are in His ultimate care. He keeps reminding me that even you, dearest Russell, cannot, must not take the place of God in my life. It is only in holding all my wonderful gifts from God lightly, acknowledging that they never really were mine to clutch, that I can experience the freedom, joy, and life found in God-Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. I so much want you to know that God truly is the best gift that life holds, even better than my love for you, or Daddy’s and my love for each other, or any other beautiful gift you or I can imagine.

I love you Russell, more than I ever realized I could. You are a gift from God to me, and I’m so grateful! When we sing, “He’s got the whole world in his hands,” that includes you, me, Daddy, Lyla and this sweet season we have shared.

I love you, honey,

Mommy

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Dear Lyla

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[Hi friends! I’ve been super sentimental lately, getting ready for our trip to China to adopt Lyla. I’ve been writing letters to Lyla and Russell and I thought I would share this letter below with all of you – just out of gratitude for how our church family has been such an integral part of our families life and journey. I see and understand the human adoption process to be a beautiful, if imperfect, analogy of the spiritual adoption God offers through Christ, and my hope and prayer is that our sharing some of this journey might somehow encourage you along yours.]

Dear Lyla,

I cannot wait to meet you! In just one week, you’ll be in my arms. This will be one of the happiest days of my life and one of the saddest, most confusing days of yours. I daydream all the time about what meeting you will be like. I wonder if you’ll be scared, happy, or aloof. I wonder if you’ll smile or cry or run away or let me hold you close. Whatever you do is okay. You just be you. Once we are with you, we aren’t going anywhere. We are here to stay. We are adopting you. This means that you will be a Grade, and we will be a family. You will have a mommy and daddy, a brother named Russell and a big fluffy dog named George. When you are sad, there will be people to hold you and comfort you and share your tears. When you are happy, there will be people to laugh with you and bear witness to your joys. When you are afraid, you don’t have to be alone with your fears. Adoption means you’re no longer alone. You have a family with whom you can belong.

I hope with all my heart that your belonging to us and our belonging to you will some day introduce you to an even greater adoption into the family of God. As you grow, I hope you’ll come to experience the eternal family of Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Spiritual adoption offers us all a belonging that’s infinitely deeper, richer, and kinder than our family will ever be. Being adopted into the family of God means living in the promise that Jesus will never leave you or forsake you. It means that there are brothers and sisters and aunts and uncles and cousins and parents for you in every church community you choose to belong to throughout your life. There will be times when I am not the mother you need and in those moments God may “mother you” through a Sunday school teacher, or youth leader, or small group leader or pastor or friend. There will be times when you need a sister to share life with, and God will provide you with a sister-in-Christ to be by your side. Some of my deep hopes and prayers for you are: 1) that you will know the marvelous experience of dancing in God’s Trinitarian love, and 2) that you will find your stride and identity as God’s adopted child, and 3) that you will experience the awe and wonder of belonging to a church family. There is nothing like a church family when a church family is working right. No family is perfect, but there are lessons in belonging and depths of communion that I’ve only known in the presence of God and his people.

I cannot imagine my love for you being any more than it is already. I see pictures of you, and my arms ache to hold you. I watch videos of you, and my heart leaps for joy. I have studied your little face and your curly hair and every bit of information we have received about you, so that it is burned into my mind and heart. You are loved so deeply already, and we haven’t even met yet!

I am so honored, humbled, and excited about being your mom. I love you so much, and I’m counting down the days until we meet.

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We are headed to China!

by susiegradeLeave a Comment on We are headed to China!

This week we received our long-awaited travel approvals to go to China and pick up our soon-to-be adopted daughter Lyla. Needless to say, we are over the moon with excitement to meet her, hold her, and begin our life together as a family of four!

We will depart on Thursday evening, May 14th, and we will be in China for 2 weeks. Our three-year-old son Russell will stay home with our dearest home-team family: Nana, Grandma, Grandpa and Gabby.

When we return to Denver, I will take maternity leave to focus on bonding and attaching with Lyla. I plan to be “off” from church responsibilities until July 15th, and then I will return to the daily life of work and ministry. Tim will be available after our return from China. And our incredible and competent staff, along with our elders will be in place for community care and emergencies while we are away.

I’m hoping to be eyeball-to-eyeball with my little people a whole lot this summer, intentionally making my world very small by staying at home, being Mom, getting to know my little ones and figuring out our new normal.

I look forward to this special season ahead! I find myself daydreaming about it all the time. What will our first meeting with Lyla be like? What will she feel like? How will Tim and I feel? How will Lyla react and adjust and be? How is Russell going to do while we are gone? How is he going to feel when we return with Lyla? How will parenting be different with two? What will life be like this summer? Please hold all of us in your prayers about these things!

I will update you all as I can with notes and Facebook posts. Please know that my love for you all –the community of Platt Park Church– runs deep, and I will be keeping you all in my heart before God while we are away. I am grateful for the amazing team we have at Platt Park Church right now, who make it possible for me to be on maternity leave with absolute confidence in the leaders who will hold down the fort while I am away.

Spiritual Life

He First Loved Us

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“We love because God first loved us.”

This wisdom comes from a man named John, who knew Jesus personally and had experienced God’s love firsthand. What did John mean about love? I think he meant that we can’t generate our own love from out of nothing. We can’t imitate, copy, or fake the sort of love John is describing.

If I think I’m going to wake up in the morning and gut it out – just love, love, love everybody I see, then I do not understand real love. Love is a gift first, a “grace” from God. We can’t earn it through holiness. We can’t measure it by time or worth. God’s love is higher, wider, deeper, and longer than we can ever imagine. We can only receive it.

We love because He first loved us. John was telling us to receive first, give second. If we don’t receive God’s love, if we haven’t fallen into the arms of love, it’s going to be very hard to extend any genuine sort of love to others.

So, today, what can you do to receive God’s love? Take a walk maybe? Sit still for a bit? Marvel at a mountain, or stand by a tree? Pray, hike, read, journal, bake, create, stare out the window, or do whatever is nourishing to you. And as you do, remember you are God’s child. Imagine yourself as a child in the loving arms of God, and allow Him to love you. Receive!

Then, give.