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The F-word is Forgiveness

by susiegradeLeave a Comment on The F-word is Forgiveness

Is there any person or group of people that you need to forgive?

Here are some questions to help you find out:

Is there anyone whom you hate?
Is there anyone whom you would like to see punished for something past or present?
Is there anyone whom you are (or have been) occasionally or consistently frustrated or annoyed with?
Is there anyone whom you feel smugly superior to?
Is there anyone whom you would like them to change their behavior (past or present)?

If you were able to identify a person or persons for any one of these questions, you probably have someone you need to forgive. Also remember, answering ‘myself’ to any of the above questions is a legitimate answer, and suggests that self-forgiveness is in order.

Our brokenness keeps us on the vicious cycle of sin and destruction, continuously being hurt and in turn hurting others. In Christ Jesus, we have been forgiven of all our sin and destruction, and so we are now free to forgive ourselves and others.

The concept of forgiveness is one of the most important things we can talk about in church. It is so core to the Good News of Christ, and yet also runs so counter to the current culture.

What Forgiveness Isn’t…

Some folks may view forgiving someone who has done harm as losing, or as letting the other win. Forgiveness may be seen as ignoring the reality of the situation, as in “forgive and forget.” This implies that to forgive someone is to pretend that there was no harm done. So, forgiveness is either seen as turning a blind eye to the actual harm done or acquiescing to the perpetrator of that harm. That is not forgiveness. Granting forgiveness is also not the same as earning trust, or seeking justice.

For others, forgiveness is understood as something I receive more than something I offer. Jesus is the one who forgives sins, not me. Also, some people understand forgiveness as a mutual transaction. One person confesses and asks for forgiveness, the other person gives forgiveness. It is a quid pro quo arrangement. This is not real forgiveness.

What Forgiveness Is…

The Gospel reminds us that while we were still sinners Christ died for us, offering forgiveness. Forgiveness is a one-way street of unconditional, unearned grace. Forgiveness is not an escape from the reality of sin and violence. It is a brutally honest acknowledgment of what has happened and then a compassionate gift of invitation to move beyond the pain.

For further reading:

Volf, M. 1996. Exclusion and Embrace: A theological exploration of identity, otherness and reconciliation. Abingdon Press.

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Soulful Living

by susiegradeLeave a Comment on Soulful Living

Jesus said, “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full”(Jn. 10:10) Yet all too often, as followers of Jesus it seems we have lost something while on the long journey toward heaven. We have lost abundant life. We have lost our souls. We need to recover our lives and our souls.

The word recover is a hopeful word. The word is from a Latin term meaning “to recuperate.” We get depleted and we need to recuperate, otherwise all we’ll do is muscle our way through and survive, not thrive.

The Good News is that God invites us to live a different way. The soulful life is patient, not rushed. It is peaceful, not anxious. It is attentive, not distracted. It is over-flowing with love, not snatching for approval.

Soulful living is about creating that space in which something can happen that you didn’t plan or count on. It is about living life from the overflow.

There is a Jewish practice called Havalah, which is a ceremony that ends the weekly rhythm of Shabbot, or Sabbath rest. Someone will take some wine and pour it into a chalice, pouring until it overflows. This is a reminder that our lives are meant to be lived out of the abundance, out of the overflow. Not out of the tired, ragged, depleted space we often allow ourselves to get into.

God wants to fill us to overflowing so that we can live out of abundance, not scarcity. But, we are only as connected to God as we plan to be. If we are not intentional, the demands of life will take over and we will live out of exhaustion. That is not soulful living.

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The Story of God

by susiegradeLeave a Comment on The Story of God

The Story of God: Part One

The story of God is the story of reality. It is the story of a God who exists in community–Father, Son and Holy Spirit–in a Triune dance of perfect love. One day God decided to create a world to share his love with. So he created people in goodness and in love. He created people in his image, and he gave these people free will, because there cannot be true love apart from choice.

Over time these people chose to leave that place of dependence on God because they were tempted by an evil enemy who promised them that they could be “like God.” So the people left this life of perfect peace, joy and love in pursuit of a life where they could be in control. In this way, the garden of Eden became a wild jungle.

God’s love led him to devise a plan to rescue these people he created and loves. In the fullness of time, he came to earth himself and entered that wild jungle. He took upon himself all the evil, wrong doing and shame. He sacrificed himself to make a way for people to be brought back into the dance of love.

After he died, some women went to the tomb on Easter morning, and the stone was rolled away. An angel told them, “He is not here He is risen!” They were afraid, but full of joy. In rising from the grave, the power of evil and death was broken! The possibility of living in freedom, peace and joy returned once again to the people God created and loves. This is the story of Easter.

The Story of God (and me): Part Two

Life in Jesus is life in a different kingdom; it is life in the kingdom of God. Resurrection faith starts with a surrender of control. It begins when I come to the end of myself and I throw myself utterly and completely on the mercy of God. I’m no longer relying on my effort or my good intentions, or my reputation. I’m no longer relying on my respectability or smarts. I’m entering an intimate friendship with Christ that starts now and lasts into eternity.Christ invites me to follow him, to be apprenticed by him. This apprenticeship to Jesus means moment by moment, day by day, I hold the hand of the One whose love for me has no limits. I now walk with the One who has faced a far greater foe than anything I will ever face. I live connected to a God who wants to speak to me and guide me by his Holy Spirit. This new life in Christ is a wild, holy, sacred journey of day by day bringing all of the facets of my being into the reign of God’s kingdom.The kingdom of God is wherever God is king. When I live in God’s kingdom, I am surrendered to His vision, I am living by his values, I am doing what he says, I am following Him. Jesus invites all of me into life with Him. This is not about praying a prayer so that I go to heaven when I die. This is not about one hour on Sunday. It is about all the facets of my being learning, over the course of a lifetime, how to live in this new kingdom where God is in charge. It is learning to joyfully breath in and out the prayer, “Not my will but yours be done.” This includes my body and its desires, my mind and thoughts, my ever-changing feelings, my strong will, my social context, and my soul.  All of me must learn to live in the kingdom of God, under the lordship of Jesus. All of me is invited out of the kingdom of this world and into the kingdom of love.

Here on earth I get a taste of the glory that is to come when all this earth will be redeemed. I get to experience now in part what I’ll experience in full for eternity. To the extent that I live in God’s kingdom now, that is the extent to which I experience heaven on earth. The more my entire being comes into the kingdom of God, the more I experience the joy, love and perfect union of that Holy Dance.

Jesus never tried to “sell” people on this kingdom life. He just invited them. He didn’t have a sales pitch on how to live your best life now. He invited people to come and die and be re-born. Folks on the self-improvement plan didn’t tend to follow him. But the ones who were sick and tired of all their striving, who were sick and tired of themselves and all the false promises of this world, they were the ones who left everything to follow Him. They were the ones who were ready to follow Jesus into the waters of his death and resurrection.

Jesus would say things like, “Any of you tired, worn out, burnt out on religion? Come to me all you who are weary and heavy burdened, and I will give you rest for your souls.  Follow me and I’ll show you a life that’s truly life in my kingdom. If you follow me, you’re not going to fit into the kingdoms of this world anymore. You’re not going to be in control. You may suffer, you will die, but you will know life.  You will know a peace that passes all understanding, and you will know a union that is so precious. There is a pearl of great price so rare that you would give all the kingdoms of this world to have it. You would sell all you have to keep it. This life that is truly life is what I offer. And you won’t ultimately come to know it by examination.  You will come to know it through surrender.”

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The Church with the Blue Door

by susiegradeLeave a Comment on The Church with the Blue Door
Last summer on sabbatical, I wrote a children’s book called “The Church with the Blue Door.” It is my hope that our kids will be filled with awe, wonder, and a deeper understanding of Jesus’ vision for His church. We have made these books available as a gift to you. Feel free to pick one up at the “connect table” if you haven’t already and read it together at home, or with the children in your life.
Throughout the book, there is a little church mouse hiding around the pages of the story. Kids can search for the little mouse as you read through the book.
Starting this Sunday, April 8th and throughout the month of April, we will have a stuffed mouse hiding around our actual church building also. Kids are invited to search for the stuffed mouse, and if they find him they can come tell either Pastor Tim or Pastor Susie and they will receive a token for a prize in the Parlor. Take your token to the parlor, and there is a vending machine of toys for you! One token per child, per Sunday please.
Thank you for your partnership in this ministry. We are so grateful for your presence & part in this special community of faith with the Blue Doors!
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What is real love?

by susiegradeLeave a Comment on What is real love?

There is a predominant myth in our world that has permeated the minds of Christ-followers everywhere. The myth is that godly love feels like love. But the truth is, godly love feels like sacrifice. Followers of Christ look to the life of Christ for their definition of true love.  1John 3:16 says “This is how we have come to know love: He laid down his life for us. We should also lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.”

Godly love doesn’t “follow the heart” – as we’re often encouraged to do. But rather, godly love follows the Holy Spirit. Following God’s Spirit means submitting to His word, seeking wise counsel, and using all the facets of your person – your mind, your heart, and your will to love someone as Christ has loved you.

ABC’s show, The Bachelor, is one of the best examples of the fallacy of following one’s heart regarding love. The foundational premise of the show repeatedly emphasizes the need for contestants to “get out of their head” and “follow their heart.”

It is ironic that The Biggest Loser, a weight loss competition show, and Survivor, the classic team survival show, have produced significantly more lasting relationships than either The Bachelor or The Bachelorette. I wonder why that is? Maybe it is because they aren’t pursuing a false dream of love?

R.C. Sproul summarizes for us what godly love is: “In the New Testament, love is more of a verb than a noun. It has more to do with acting than with feeling. The call to love is not so much a call to a certain state of feeling as it is to a quality of action.”

Take some time today to meditate slowly over 1 Cor. 13 and evaluate your current relationships according to the scriptures definition of real love.

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What is Sin?

by susiegradeLeave a Comment on What is Sin?
Augustine defines sin as disordered loves. We all love a variety of different things. I love God and I love sushi. I love my husband and I love a new pair of shoes. I love my children and I love a bold cabernet. Sin is when my loves get out of order.
When a friend trusts me with her story and I repeat it in gossip, I love my popularity more than my friend. That is sin. So then, repentance is first a confession that my loves are disordered. Second it is a turning away from the lessor love and towards the higher love.
An activity that helps me in self-reflection and prayer is simply to rank the things I love. Then, I ask myself if the thing I say I love most is getting the best time, energy, and focus of my life. If not, my loves are disordered and I have some work to do with the One who loves me best.
For more theological reflection, read:
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Face to Face and Heart to Heart   

by susiegradeLeave a Comment on Face to Face and Heart to Heart   
Last night we said goodbye to Sandra, our dear nanny who has lived with us and loved our children alongside us this past year. Our house was filled with all the smells of Sandra’s favorite foods, all the sounds of a lively party, plus all the emotions of goodbye.

I loved the entire evening. From preparing food together, to the kids playing inside and out, the hugs and gifts and prayers and tears – my heart was full.  It felt like a little taste of heaven to me, with so much love in the air it was palpable. One of the reasons I savored the night was because it was all face to face and heart to heart. So much of my life is lived in logistics-land where schedules and plans and lists seem to dominate. But last night, there were no screens or texts or typing. There was no voice coming through a device with no face, and no Facetime simulation of real life. No, it was the real deal. People who love Sandra gathered to express it in person.

There is no replacing in-person. I’m grateful for all the virtual ways we can keep connected to one another from afar, but there is just no replacing in-person, shared space, eyeball to eyeball time.
And here is a little secret: No one else can build this for you. You must show up in your real body with all its insecurities and accomplishments.  You’ll have to get your skin in the game of messy, imperfect, sometimes boring, often impractical, inconvenient, unproductive and surprising relationships. From time to time I hear people complain that “the church” just isn’t building a strong enough community for them. And while I’m always open to the ways we can improve, my heart and my life tell me that no organization can do this work for you. You must cultivate it – like a garden. You will have to be the one to plant seeds of friendship, and water them, and pull up the weeds.  A church can point the way towards deep spiritual community by offering environments like small groups, and creating shared experiences together – but all of these things only serve as a signpost – an arrow – that points the way. The church programs are just arrows pointing towards spiritual friendship, they cannot replace it. Spiritual friendships are only fostered face to face and heart to heart. A church can point towards deep community, but it cannot create it for someone. An organization and its leaders can seek to model and build and value spiritual friendships, but they can never be a substitute for someone showing up and doing this work themselves. If you’re going to know true community, you have to commit yourself to some relationships long past the point where you find yourself saying of those relationships, “they just don’t work for me anymore.”  You’ll have to get disappointed, work through that, and stay. If you want to experience friendship, community, and love you’ll have to show up, over and over again and sometimes, when you’re least expecting it, you just might bump into a little bit of heaven here on earth – where Christ himself is present in the bread and in the wine and in the going away party for your friend.
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Orphans to Heirs

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In Genesis 1, we discover that we were created by God. We were in the beautiful garden of Eden, our creation was labelled as good, and we were described as image bearers. Then in Genesis 3, we turned our backs on God. In that moment we became orphaned by sin. There was a break in the bond we shared with our Maker. The scriptures say Adam and Eve no longer were able to walk naked with God in the garden and feel no shame. Suddenly they knew they were naked, felt ashamed, and lost intimacy with their Creator. Shame entered the scene of this world and has never left. But in his lovingkindness, God sent Jesus to make a way for our adoption back into the family of God. Then he also sent his Holy Spirit to our hearts so that we can experience our adoption. In Christ we are adopted, through God’s Holy Spirit we experience our adoption. 

The Holy Spirit makes real our rescue from the orphanage of our own sin and shame. You can be adopted, but not experience your adoption. You can be an heir, but live with an orphan spirit. You can have a provider but keep hoarding food in isolation.
To be adopted into a family is to forever know intimacy, provision, protection and care. Intimacy is shared life; intimacy with God is shared life. The same power that made Jesus alive is now making us alive in him. This is living in the light of the resurrection. This is living out all the rights and privileges of our adopted life. We are no longer orphans but heirs.
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The Gift of Disillusionment 

by susiegradeLeave a Comment on The Gift of Disillusionment 
Intimacy with God requires that you deal with your disillusionment. Sometimes I meet people who say, “I used to follow Jesus, but then I just got disillusioned.” Do you know what disillusionment really is? It is about losing your illusions. We think of that word negatively, but I wish we could think of it positively. Because every time you feel disillusioned, it is an invitation to a deeper faith.
Barbara Brown Taylor says:
“The disillusioned turn away from the God who was supposed to be in order to seek the God who is. Every letdown becomes a lesson and a lure. Did God fail to come when I called? Then perhaps God is not a minion. So who is God? Did God fail to punish my adversary? Then perhaps God is not a policeman. So who is God? Did God fail to make everything turn out all right? Then perhaps God is not a fixer. So who is God? Over and over, my disappointments draw me deeper into the mystery of God’s being and doing. Every time God declines to meet my expectations, another of my idols is exposed. Another curtain is drawn back so that I can see what I have propped up in God’s place – no, that is not God, so who is God? It is the question of a lifetime, and the answers are never big enough or finished. Pushing past curtain after curtain, it becomes clear that the failure is not God’s but my own, for having such a poor and stingy imagination. God is greater than my imagination, wiser than my wisdom, more dazzling than the universe, as present as the air I breath and utterly beyond my control.”
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This Series is Close to my Heart 

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I heard a story from a friend recently who adopted a little boy from China. She told me that the night before their son’s adoption, after dinner with his foster family, she had her first bout with anxiety.  She started thinking, “Oh dear, what if this is a mess? What have I gotten us into?” Later in the evening, back in her hotel room, in the midst of all that fear, she began to pray. In prayer, she sensed God say to her, “Breathe in my Holy Spirit, breath out fear and doubt. I have brought you to this place. Have faith and proceed.” And since that night, she has had complete confidence that this was her path designed by God. 

In that moment of adopting their son, she experienced her own adoption as God’s beloved child. She felt God’s Holy Spirit drawing her close, caring for her, and reminding her that she is not alone.
Last Sunday we started a new sermon series called Orphans-to-Heirs. We are talking about the spiritual doctrine of adoption. Adoption is close to my heart since our second child is adopted. In this series, we are exploring how it is possible to be adopted into the family of God but still live with an orphan spirit. An orphan spirit is one that feels they are alone in the world with no one to take care of them. In contrast, this is the basis of what it means to be an heir: God’s love grounding us, transforming us, and directing us.
“For your have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out ‘Abba! Father!'” (Romans 8:15)