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Pastoral Leadership, Spiritual Life

Accepting Limits

by susiegradeLeave a Comment on Accepting Limits
I’m the kind of person who likes to have a lot of things going on in life. When I was a kid, my mom would tease me about how I would start a project, and then go play with a friend, and then come back to the project, and then start another project in the middle of that project. I also like to break away from all that is going on and embrace solitude and silence right in the middle of a full life. It is how I operate best. Sometimes I have too much going on and have to scale back, and other times there is not enough challenge, and I feel bored, so I think and pray about what the next arena of involvement might be.
But lately, I have been thinking about limits.  I’ve been trying to identify and accept the limits of my season with a new little one at home. Bringing Lyla home has been one of the most amazing and humbling experiences of my life. It is a dream come true! I feel so full of gratitude every single day for the gift of Lyla in our family. Annnnndddd….going from 1 kid to 2 kids is no joke!  Life feels much fuller now!
Vocationally, I am regularly asked to be involved in extra things. Can you speak at this event? Can you mentor me? Can you lead this group? Recently I said yes to an extra speaking opportunity when I knew in my heart I should say no. I really wanted to do it, though and it is for a great church, and so I said yes. Here’s the thing: every time I say yes to something extra, I say no to time at home with Lyla and Russell.  I am so aware that they are “little people” for such a short time, and already it feels like it’s going fast. (Well, some days are long, but the years are going fast!) I don’t want to miss this. I want to be present. I want to be here.
Shortly after saying yes to that engagement (when I knew I should’ve said no,) another request came my way. Thankfully, I had the presence of mind to respectfully decline, and I’m so glad I did!  Accepting the limits of this season is about honoring what God has called me to and recognizing that really and truly there are a multitude of other people – amazing people – who can say yes, when I need to say no.
Can you relate? I’d love to hear your stories of accepting limits.
Pastoral Leadership, Spiritual Life

The Average CEO

by susiegradeLeave a Comment on The Average CEO

The average tenure of a Fortune 500 CEO is just 4.6 years, and  it’s even shorter for many pastors (average of 4 years.) This statistic could be explained by burnout, but it could also be a reflection of a shadowy tendency of human nature. People sometimes leave when the going gets tough, when the honeymoon is over. By changing positions frequently, it’s possible to keep one’s life and leadership in a constant “honeymoon phase” and leave the problems to someone else. However, this isn’t the kind of leadership Jesus modeled and advocated.

Jesus talked once about the mentality of the shepherd versus the hired hand. He said, “The hired hand is not the shepherd and does not own the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it” (John 10:12). Jesus highlighted the difference between someone who acts like a shepherd/owner and someone who acts like a hired hand. The shepherd has ownership of his flock, is invested in their wellbeing, and is connected with their destiny. Jesus describes himself as “the Good Shepherd” who knows his sheep and lays his life down for them. When it comes to that which God calls us to do, he wants us to imitate Jesus and be shepherds/owners and not like hired hands.

Although it has taken me some time, I’m now grateful for a leadership crisis I experienced at an early age. I had to face my own inclination to run away. I experienced new levels of grace through the grueling, soul-refining work of conflict resolution, forgiveness, and team-building that test a leader’s character. Crisis, portrayed in Jesus’ parable as the wolf’s intrusion and attack, has a way of revealing motives and prompting reactive behavior. We all have a mix of pure and impure, selfish and loving motives, but crisis often strips us of our facades and breaks down for us what is really important. Crisis clarifies why we are doing what we are doing and to what extent we are committed to the “sheep” entrusted to us. Crisis is a tremendous way to grow in intimacy with the Lord.

Martin Luther King once said, “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” -1963

When crisis comes, let’s trust our Jesus-shepherd and be faithful to the task and to the people who look to us for leadership. Let’s allow the hard times to take us deeper with the One who loves us and gave His life for us.

Pastoral Leadership, Spiritual Life

Rate Me

by susiegradeLeave a Comment on Rate Me

Every time Amazon delivers something to my door, I receive a text message asking me to “rate my experience.” The text reads, “Your package with Pampers Baby Dry Diapers has been delivered by the carrier. Rate it right here at amazon.com/box.”

Really? Rate my experience?  Let’s see… hmmm… I ordered the diapers, and then they arrived. Great job, everyone.

We live in a world that constantly prompts us to judge. Rate your experience, size up your competition, weigh her beauty, gauge his sincerity. Look. Evaluate. Assess. Judge.

These activities have a legitimate place in our lives. We weigh options for their risks and benefits. We attempt to choose right from wrong. We listen for truth and goodness in an effort to protect ourselves from deception. We teach our children discernment.

But judging can take up too much space in our minds and can become a perpetual habit. Once judgment becomes habit, I am prone to criticalness. I don’t want to be known for a critical spirit. I want to be about welcome, hospitality, and spiritual formation; I want to be about other-oriented-ness and active service. I want to develop a disposition that says, “This is enough. You are enough. I am enough. Relax, and rest,” rather than a personality that is always rating myself and others and concluding, “More, better, faster, higher. You could really do better next time.”

This vision of myself is not yet reality. I’m a driver. I run fast and hard, and I seek continual improvement. I need God’s words in my ear each and every moment reminding me as he reminded Jesus, “You are my beloved, precious in my eyes.” It is counter-cultural to allow myself, my circumstances and others to be enough – to cease striving and to rest in gratitude and joy. More and more, I want to live each day with less of an Amazon “rate me” philosophy and more of a Scriptural conviction: “Christ in me, the hope of glory.”

Pastoral Leadership, Spiritual Life

About Power

by susiegradeLeave a Comment on About Power

Several years ago I worked as a site pastor in a multi-site church. My boss at the time was the executive pastor Mike Ross, who later founded Mother’s Global Village, with whom Platt Park now partners in Guatemala. When the organizational structure of our multi-site church changed, Mike went from being my supervisor to being a site pastor at one of the other campuses. I remember writing him a note expressing what an impact he was having on me. I told him how impressed I was with his ability to transition between roles in the church without letting his ego get in the way. Most people would have gotten a sideways, resentful attitude about the perceived demotion of that change, but Mike never missed a beat. He seemed to readily relinquish the appearance and position of power for something more authentic…

I just finished reading Andy Crouch’s book Playing God, and I have to say it may be my favorite read this year so far.  Crouch says all of us-not just the obviously “powerful”-have real power and the responsibility to use it well. Power is both an idol to be rejected and a gift to be redeemed. Usually, we think of power as a bad thing; we nod our heads in agreement when we hear someone say, “Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely.” Certainly, power can be corrupt when idolatry and injustice are involved. However, Andy Crouch shows how redeemed power is a gift meant for human flourishing. He says that the nature and essence of power can only be discerned by its effect, like the wind. The true quality test of power is found in this question: Are the people around us truly flourishing? What sort of wake are you and I leaving in our relationships? Human flourishing never happens by accident; it always requires intentionality.

May you wield your God-given and redeemed power for the flourishing of those around you.

Pastoral Leadership

Prioritizing My Marriage

by susiegradeLeave a Comment on Prioritizing My Marriage

Over the years, lots of people have asked Tim and I about working together, pastoring together, being landlords together…we have a lot of together going on! I’m a little sensitive when this topic comes up because it touches on all sorts of insecurities for me. First off, we were told in our early years of marriage that spouses could not pastor together because that was nepotism and it would never work. I’m sensitive also because I know that a lot of couples should not and could not work together, and so I never want to send the impression that this model is for everyone. Third, I am sensitive because although we work together in a lot of domains right now, it might not always be what we want to do, and so I want to protect the choice for either or both of us to bow out or change vocational focus someday.  But for now, Tim and I work together and we really like working together. I get to see a side of Tim in our small business that I never knew he had until we started that venture – who knew that Tim could paint?!? We have both changed so much in the 5 years we have co-pastored and it is thrilling to be growth partners with each other in ministry everyday.

But co-leading and co-pastoring is not what makes us married. Marriage is so much more than running a business together or running a household together. Marriage is about writing a love story together.  It is about walking hand in hand down the street for breakfast on a Monday morning (a pastors Saturday!).  It is about surrendering my self-imposed need to cook everyday and ordering carry out to eat on the front porch instead sometimes. It is about choosing to talk to each other and finding the space to really listen. It is about realizing that getting the dishwasher loaded can always happen later, but some sort of daily investment in each other needs to happen every day. It is about giving up the urgent in favor of the important. Marriage is about making time for each other every day – small little investments that add up over a lifetime. It is not about just talking business (although we do plenty of that!).  It is about talking and listening from your heart – hearing about the small details, the hopes, the fears, the dreams and the mundane. Tim and I have a lot of time together, but we have to fight for the time that really builds the sort of marriage we want to have. I think that is true for every couple, whether you work together or not. It is easy for us to just slip into all business – Who is speaking? Who is watching Russell? When are we having those people over? Can I book that private event at the studio next month? Can I buy a new truck? (No!  The answer to that last question is no.) There is a never-ending list of schedule-coordination, to-do-lists, and logistics to discuss.

Prioritizing is never easy. It means saying no to the good stuff in order to build the great stuff. Important relationships are worth prioritizing but it will mean the laundry sometimes goes undone. It will mean eating leftovers so we don’t give each other the leftovers of our attention and energy for another day.

Pastoral Leadership, Spiritual Life

Just Jesus Please

by susiegradeLeave a Comment on Just Jesus Please
Every Fall, our teaching team at church meets to pray and brainstorm about the message series for the upcoming year. This past October, we each wrote down what we thought might be important topics, and then we shared them with each other. One theme emerged this year from all five people around the table: the desire to talk more about Jesus – the historical, radical, confusing and redeeming person we know as Lord and Savior and Friend. So, beginning just before Easter, we are going to spend several weeks on Jesus. As Ruth Bell Graham once said, “Just give me Jesus!”

 I’ve begun ruminating and talking with others about Jesus, and I think many people feel confused about Him, and some have decided to throw Him out all together.  There are many things that challenge, confuse and even sometimes anger me about Jesus too. Like why did he heal some but not all? Why hasn’t he returned yet? Is he really the only way to God? Why did he so often teach in parables?

On the flip side, I keep returning to some things I like about Jesus:

  • Jesus was always a redeemer and healer; his trajectory in relating with others was toward their growth and wellbeing.
  • He noticed and cared for the oppressed and/or those who were unrecognized or under-valued (e.g. fisherman, women, tax collectors, children).
  • He taught with authority and creativity, and he mentored in close proximity.
  • He honored tradition but also breathed fresh air/new life into what had become a system of rules.
  • He gave people hope that things could be different – in this life and the next. He then exemplified this with his own death and resurrection. The greatest tragedy and injustice was turned inside out. This gives me hope that even the most terrible circumstances may have surprising ends.
  • He is a picture to me of “God with us,” Emmanuel. Because of his life, I have a clearer vision of my own purpose to be an extension of God-with-us to others.
  • Scripture tells me I can be clothed in his righteousness and when God looks at me, he actually sees me through the righteousness of Christ.

Whether you are presently angry with Jesus, confused by him, enamored with him, or just plain curious, I hope you will find the upcoming series helpful. Jesus’ invitation is always, “Come,” and the Platt Park teaching team would love to have you come and join us as we study and dialogue together.

Pastoral Leadership, Spiritual Life

Renting vs. Owning

by susiegradeLeave a Comment on Renting vs. Owning

“It is not my business I’m running, it is not my staff that I am leading, it is not my church, or my house, or my car, or even my child. Everything belongs to God. The whole earth is His.” Remember this from last week’s note? I can’t get this idea out of my mind… For the entire decade+ of Tim’s and my marriage, we have been fixing up homes. Every house we’ve bought has been a fixer-upper, and we have made it our main hobby to restore and improve spaces in our spare time. This hobby started in Iowa when we bought our first house, an 1862 Mississippi river home with lots and lots of charm and work. Since then, we have restored a couple of tri-plexes in the Highlands, one single-family home and a condo.

Now we are renting the church parsonage (the house that goes with the church property), and we’ve invested heart, energy, and time into fixing up that space too.
We don’t own the house we live in, but I can honestly say that I am happy to be working on it.

Our culture seems to believe that if you’re renting, you can kind of trash the place, whereas if you own it, then you need to take care of it. Sometimes our culture even looks at relationships this way. We have an idea that in some cases, we’re free to be haphazard and careless with what has been entrusted to us.

But in God’s economy, everything belongs to him, so whether I rent or I own, whether this is a short-term situation or a long-term commitment, I am a steward of anything He has provided. I may not “own” the house I live in today, but I am no less accountable before God to care for and develop it. Everything belongs to God. The whole earth is His.

Pastoral Leadership

Leadership Lessons

by susiegradeLeave a Comment on Leadership Lessons

Almost every year for over 10+ years now I have been carving out 2 days in August to attend the Global Leadership Summit. This event is simulcast all around the world, with 170,000 leaders in attendance. I love this event so much that I even left a family vacation early one year to be at the Summit…I know, that is really weird.

This week 9 people from our staff and elder team attended. Here are my favorite leadership lessons from this years Summit. These lessons took me just 2 days to learn, but will likely take a lifetime to apply! And I am up for that challenge!

1. From Collin Powell: It will look different in the morning; successful leaders infect their people; get mad but get over it.

2. From Patrick Lencioni: if you want to loose your best people then give them anonymity, irrelevance and immeasurement in their work.

3. From Liz Wiseman: you can have a diminishing impact without intending to and without knowing it. Multipliers believe that everyone is smart and is going to figure it out.

4. From Chris Brown: I don’t have a quote from Chris so much as I have an impression of powerful story telling in preaching!

5. From Joseph Grenny: leadership is intentional influence.

6. From Vijay Govindarajan: Innovation = idea+leader+team+plan

7. From Brene Brown: Humans have a basic need to be seen and loved, to belong and to be brave. And if you are not in the arena-getting beat up yourself, then I will not listen to your criticism of me.

8. Oscar Muriu from Nairobi Chapel: Jesus did not just throw himself into the harvest, he first found his leaders.

9. From Henry Cloud: the downward spiral of a leader includes: taking it personal, thinking its pervasive, believing it is permanent.

10: Bill Hybels: be strong and courageous because leadership is not for the faint of heart.

Pastoral Leadership

Why I Love Our Staff

by susiegradeLeave a Comment on Why I Love Our Staff

I’ve reached this point in life where I no longer want to work with people that I just don’t like. Maybe that is selfish, maybe it is wise, but I want to come into work each day surrounded by a team of people that I genuinely enjoy being around. And I have to say, that is 100% the case with our current staff team at Platt Park Church.

Let me tell you just a few reasons why I love these people.

#1. Josh Peterson – Josh is such an awesome mix of super goofy, highly intelligent and plain ‘ol passionate. What you see is what you get and there is just not a lot of “junk” to get through or around with Josh. I love that he is an artist, but not a diva. I love that he loves philosophy and theology and God and people and serving. Josh will roll up his sleeves for just about any project, and I’m so happy he’s on our team.

#2. Lara Hedberg – When Lara opens her mouth she has super wise things to say. She never takes up too much space in the room, but she shines bright in her passion for excellence, her creative eye and her articulate way of pursing Christ in all of life. Lara is un-afraid to state her views even when they are minority views, yet she does it in the most kind and compelling way. I love her wide-eyed eager embracing of a beautiful set of values that guides her daily life.

#3. Amy Borjas – Meet Old Testament scholar in a Children’s pastor role! Amy has a brilliant mind, a kind heart, strength for building systems and an un-paralleled attentiveness to the unique needs of individuals. She makes people feel special by showing each person (no matter their age) a strong level of respect. She makes me love God and the Bible more because of her contagious passion for the scriptures and God’s redemptive plan throughout history.

#4. Tim Grade – Even if we were not married I could not pick a better co-pastor. I have never known a more hard-working person then Tim. He works hard, loves well and can be found fishing with old guys or tinkering in his garage in his spare time. Tim rarely seeks the spotlight or sugar-coats his words, which is why we all trust his leadership and follow his example. I’m lucky to be working with and married to this incredible man. There is no one I respect more.

#5. Gary Aronhalt – You can tell more about a person by how they navigate life’s challenges and disappointments than by how they handle life’s successes. I have seen Gary live with integrity, open-ness and grace in the midst of some struggles and that gives great credibility to his voice and leadership on our team. Plus, if you can run 44 miles on your 44th birthday…ummm, yea, I will respect you.

#6. Steve Rhyner – Church business administrators have the great challenge of keeping big picture visionary pastors’ feet on the ground by being the voice of reality with the church finances. Steve never takes on a “bad-cop” persona, but he keeps us in check with a smile on his face, a spirit of care, and a commitment to being above board on every level of finances for our church. These skills are definitely not in my wheelhouse, so we would really be in trouble without Steve and I am grateful for all he does for us behind-the-scenes.

#7. Ginny Alison – Ginny is the newest member of our staff team and is a pure joy to be around. During her first month on staff, she went out of her way to connect with me (not as the pastor) but as a mom of one of the kids in her program. She cares, and from the perspective of being a new mom, that kind of care can just about make you cry. Plus, Ginny is an eager, smart, justice-minded seminary student with a bright, bright future in service of God’s kingdom.

We are truly blessed to have this kind of team.

Pastoral Leadership, Spiritual Life

A Letter to My 2008 Self

by susiegradeLeave a Comment on A Letter to My 2008 Self

Dear 2008 Susie,

Please take a deep breath and relax. This season of chaos in the church is revealing an unhealthy family system that has been in place for a long, long time. So try not to take all the chaos so personally. The people who are leaving the church are not personally rejecting you, even when it feels that way. Keep looking into God’s face. See His love for you. Hold on to Him, walk with integrity, love others, and take time to laugh with Tim and your home team of friends who love you no matter what your job or calling may be.

Please know that a day will come when you will feel total forgiveness and freedom from all this turmoil – you will actually feel this freedom in your heart and in your body. The weight will be lifted, like a balloon floating up in the air, and you will be free of anger. You will actually feel compassion toward the people whose decisions have hurt you so deeply. Time + God’s healing + hard work + counseling will give you a new perspective on all of this. It’s going to be okay.

So hold your head up and remember God is still on the throne, and even though it’s brutal right now, this hardship is going to form you in a thousand positive tiny little ways.

With love and grace and tears of gladness,

Your 2013 Susie

P.S. I wanted to share this because all suffering at the time seems overwhelming and final, but in my experience God has proven to be the redeemer that Scripture says He is, taking the broken rubble to make something beautiful. I hope this truth encourages those who are facing painful experiences and perhaps relational conflict or disappointment right now. I learned a new phrase this week from Gleenon Doyle Melton called life brutiful: brutal + beautiful. May you step into your struggles with God and move towards life brutiful today.