Dear 2008 Susie,
Please take a deep breath and relax. This season of chaos in the church is revealing an unhealthy family system that has been in place for a long, long time. So try not to take all the chaos so personally. The people who are leaving the church are not personally rejecting you, even when it feels that way. Keep looking into God’s face. See His love for you. Hold on to Him, walk with integrity, love others, and take time to laugh with Tim and your home team of friends who love you no matter what your job or calling may be.
Please know that a day will come when you will feel total forgiveness and freedom from all this turmoil – you will actually feel this freedom in your heart and in your body. The weight will be lifted, like a balloon floating up in the air, and you will be free of anger. You will actually feel compassion toward the people whose decisions have hurt you so deeply. Time + God’s healing + hard work + counseling will give you a new perspective on all of this. It’s going to be okay.
So hold your head up and remember God is still on the throne, and even though it’s brutal right now, this hardship is going to form you in a thousand positive tiny little ways.
With love and grace and tears of gladness,
Your 2013 Susie
P.S. I wanted to share this because all suffering at the time seems overwhelming and final, but in my experience God has proven to be the redeemer that Scripture says He is, taking the broken rubble to make something beautiful. I hope this truth encourages those who are facing painful experiences and perhaps relational conflict or disappointment right now. I learned a new phrase this week from Gleenon Doyle Melton called life brutiful: brutal + beautiful. May you step into your struggles with God and move towards life brutiful today.
Susie Grade 