Recently, our marriage counselor said to me, “Susie you are very nice and that is not a compliment.” Ouch! That did not feel good. But, alas, it’s true, and I’m grateful for the honest feedback – a rare and precious gift indeed.
Here is what I’m realizing: nice is not the same as loving. Yes, I know I’m very late to the party on this realization. I guess I’ve known that in my head, but applying it to my life is another matter. Christ calls me to love, but that may not always mean being nice. In fact, if I’m nice to your face and turn around and vent about you to someone else, I might have been “nice,” but I was anything but loving. Sometimes love calls for fierceness, and sometimes that intensity does not feel so nice.
So I’m pushing the reset button on this one. I’m choosing a new way. It might be clunky for me, and I’m sure I will relapse, but with God’s help I choose to live in love and not just in nice.