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Our Jobs as Parents 

by susiegradeLeave a Comment on Our Jobs as Parents 
While I was on sabbatical, I met with a pastor friend here in Denver who shared with me something that I have incorporated into my own life as a parent. Thanks to this conversation, I now tell my kids that Daddy and I have 3 jobs as their parents:
1. We help keep you safe.
Physical safety may be most important when they are younger, but mental and emotional safety become increasingly important as our children grow.
2. We help you to make good choices.
These choices are about being kind and healthy to themselves and others. As our children grow, we will become coaches in their decision-making.
3. We help you remember who you are.
We remind our children by what we say and how we live life together as a family that they are loved, chosen and valued.
Our parenting jobs reflect back to God’s creation intent, and his intended triad of Safety, Significance, and Security. We lost these three things in the garden and are on a continual journey to return to them. Our children need us to lead them on that path.
Point your kids in the right direction – when they’re old they won’t be lost.
 Proverbs 22:6 (The Message)
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Ongoing Conversation

by susiegradeLeave a Comment on Ongoing Conversation
Why is it that sometimes you’ll meet someone who has followed Christ for decades, been faithful in attending church, been committed to countless small groups and volunteer service activities, but they have become more impatient, unkind, rude, or judgmental? Why is it that I can be so busy serving Jesus while simultaneously moving farther from reflecting his heart and image?  
Have you ever noticed that church activity does not guarantee a person’s transformation into Christlikeness? Church is just the container; it is not the substance. Christ is the one–the only one–who can transform human hearts. No amount of good Christian activity can substitute. No amount of small group participation, Bible study, prayer, or church attendance can do the transforming. Only God himself can do the work of God.  All these good activities are just signposts meant to point the way to a direct engagement with God.
We’ve been told a lie. The lie is that with enough involvement in Christian activity we will experience the abundant life Christ spoke of. This is not true. Christ himself is the abundant life. Activities, disciplines, involvements, and service, no matter how powerful, are not the same as direct connection with God himself.
Too often we think of transformation–or conversion–as a one-time thing. We say, “Oh, I got saved freshman year of college,” or, “I became a Christian as a child.” We forget that spiritual formation is an ongoing process of being formed into the image of Christ for the sake of others. We neglect the teaching of Jesus that says, If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it. Mt 10:39 ESV , and the teaching of the apostle Paul that says, “We must work out our salvation” (Phil 2:12).
The core of the gospel is an ongoing commitment to die. To die to self and be raised to new life in Christ. Oh, how my ego resists the dying! My false self with all its posturing and pretending has to die so that my true self can be born. My self-creation has to die so that my authentic self can be found again. The self that God created me to be before sin’s distortion.
We all have a shame-based fear of being ordinary. We seek to prove our worth through hustling, proving, posturing, being unique, or procuring fame and fortune. Some of us need to be right, some of us need to be loved, and some of us need to be seen as competent or powerful. We use various narratives and stories to prove we are important.
People offer opportunities for conversion, of ongoing change. When I get cut off in traffic, I have the opportunity to die to my need to be first. When I am offended, I am presented with the choice to die to my need to be the center. When I feel rejected, I can die to my need to be liked by everyone. These small deaths make room for resurrection in my life. I can be raised to new life in being fully known, fully loved, with no fear of rejection in Christ.
The powerful question I can ask is this: Is my life growing in the fruit of God’s spirit? Am I more loving, joyful, peaceful, patent, kind, good, faithful and full of self-control?  This is the evidence of God’s transforming work in my life. Not greater involvement in church, but more of the fruit of the Spirit.
“He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose.”
— Jim Elliot, missionary martyr
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Needy or In Need?

by susiegradeLeave a Comment on Needy or In Need?
I was listening to a podcast recently in which the speaker asked, “What is the one word that someone could use to describe you that would devastate you if it was true?” Her answer was “needy.” Most of us would rather be just about anything but “needy.” Why is that?
There is a difference between being “needy” and being “in need.” When our condition of being in need becomes our identity, we become needy. Rather than just having a situation, we develop a reputation. But to be in need is to be human. Jesus demonstrates this throughout His life-from birth as a fully dependent infant, to the crucifixion, where He spoke through parched and cracked lips, “I am thirsty.” Jesus had needs, but that did not make Him needy, it made Him human.
We all have times in which our needs exceed our resources. At Platt Park Church, we have a small but mighty group of people called “The Blessing Team.” We are on the lookout for ways that we can bless people by helping to meet the very real needs in their lives. Here is just a glimpse of some of the ways that we have done this:
· Helped an individual avoid eviction by paying rent
· Supported a refugee who is going to college
· Helped a family of five by paying their rent
· Paying for several counseling sessions to help a couple
· Paid towards reducing medical bills for an individual
· Monthly stipend for transportation for a person with special needs
· Handed out grocery and Uber gift cards
It is a marvelous and joyful experience to be giving out of our abundance to help those around us, both in our faith community and outside it. It is the love of Christ that compels us.
This Sunday, October 1st, we will be collecting gift cards to distribute as needs arise. We thank you in advance for donating grocery cards, RTD pass books, or Target cards.
If you are interested in hearing more about the Blessing Team, or in serving with us, please contact Carol Schmidt at carolschmidtco@gmail.com
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Listen to the River (Not the Highway) 

by susiegradeLeave a Comment on Listen to the River (Not the Highway) 

The first thing I noticed when my sabbatical began was that the moment I opened up space in my life, a variety of things fought to fill that space. 

One night after dark, I went out on our back porch in Frisco to look at the stars and listen to the river. As I sat there, I noticed that I could hear both the rushing river and the distant sound of I-70. Both were present in the air that night, but I could choose which to focus on – the soothing river or the racing highway.
No matter if it is an hour, a day or 3 months that is set aside for rest and replenishment, the demands and distractions of life always will crouch at the door. Just waiting to jump in and fill up our time, our minds, and any space for silence and solitude.
This is my experience. There is always the highway noise at first; it takes some time to settle in and listen for the river of God’s Spirit flowing.
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Human Dignity

by susiegradeLeave a Comment on Human Dignity

She stood there with a scowl of sorts on her face and she wasn’t singing. A combination of bored plus defiant spread across my 3-year old’s face as she stood on stage with the entire preschool for the end of the year performance. All the kids were singing, but Lyla was not singing. All the kids were clapping, but Lyla was not clapping. All the kids seemed happy to be up there, but Lyla did not. 

My Mama-heart just loved watching my girl. As other moms looked over at me, I flashed my proud smile and it was honest and true. As Lyla’s mom, I really didn’t care if she sang all the words and did all the actions at the preschool show. I just loved watching my girl.
I think that this is God’s heart for you. You are not a machine designed to crank out products with efficiency. You are a human being, an image bearer, a holy child of God. You are a precious soul full of dignity and worthy of love. You were not produced in a factory, like a cog created to get stuff done. You were knit together in your mother’s womb. Even if your mother never knew you, God saw you and knew you and loved you before you were ever born.
You – with all your quirks.
You – with all your wonder.
You – with all your struggles, shame, and failures.
You — with all your wishes, hopes and dreams.
God sees you on the stage of your life and delights to watch you, to be near you, to marvel at the one-and-only creation that you are. You don’t have to perform perfectly. You don’t have to do anything at all to be fully known, fully loved, with no fear of rejection. God just looks at you and loves you as His beloved child.
You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous – how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me! (Psalm 139:13-18)
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Active Listening

by susiegradeLeave a Comment on Active Listening
“Let your religion be less of a theory and more of a love affair.” G. K. Chesterton
I had the opportunity to visit some other faith communities this summer during my 3-month sabbatical. I found myself walking into a church worship service with my kids for the first time in a long time. One particular week, as I stood with my children, Lyla (3) and Russell (5), tears streamed down my face. I got to hear Lyla sing the words of the worship song alongside me and the others gathered in worship that day.
Being on the “attender-” rather than “pastor-” side of a Sunday morning worship gathering reminded me of some dynamics at play when we worship. Something that I have noticed in myself and others is that our culture has programmed us to listen to a sermon for information. We are conditioned to attend a church service with a bent towards “What can I get out of this?” There is nothing wrong with seeking information but I wonder if God is more interested in our formation, rather than our merely acquiring more information.
When I approach a sermon (or Scripture, or book, or event that is participatory), I tend to seek to cover as much ground as possible as quickly as I can. In this way, I may not notice God’s gentle whisper that invites me to pause and reflect, to stop and ponder, or to turn and repent.
When I approach a Bible study seeking to master the text so that I can defend it, I miss out on the invitation from God for the text to master me. When I’m all about mastering the text, I am in control and I am “in my head.” But when I allow the text to master me, I relinquish control. I allow all my heart, mind and will to be moved. Richard Rohr, of the Center of Action and Contemplation, says, “The opposite of faith is not doubt; the opposite of faith is control”
When I come to church and listen analytically, critically, and sometimes judgmentally, I am standing at a distance with my own purposes, objectives and desires driving me. I am treating God as an object to be analyzed and studied, rather than a subject, a Person, to dance with. When I come to church expectant, open, available, and willing to be surprised, sometimes God will speak to me through a song, a prayer, or another soul:
  • Informational listening keeps the experience “out there,” where I can control and manipulate it to fit my life agenda. Formational listening, allows space and silence for God to speak.
  • Informational learning is characterized by a “problem solving” approach. We are looking for a fast and easy nugget of wisdom that we can apply that will change our lives now.
  • Formational learning recognizes that faith is a process. It is not something we have or don’t have, but rather something that matures and grows, bit by bit.
So, the next time that you set aside time for prayer, Scripture, a podcast, a book, or a sermon, why not ask God to help you see Him with more than your mind alone? Ask Him to help you move from your head to your heart. Then watch Him give you the eyes to see, the ears to hear, and the courage to listen and obey His promptings in your life.
*For further reading: Richard Rohr and the Center for Action and Contemplation, https://cac.org/. Mulholland, M. Robert. 2001. Shaped by the Word: The power of Scripture in spiritual formation. Upper Room. https://www.amazon.com/Shaped-Word-Scripture-Spiritual-Formation/dp/0835809366
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On Charlottesville

by susiegradeLeave a Comment on On Charlottesville
I am still in shock about what we saw in Charlottesville. You may have heard it said, “If you’re not outraged, you’re not paying attention.” The unique outrage of a follower of Jesus is far deeper than a political perspective or a patriotic love of one’s country. It is outrage against racism and its direct opposition to the gospel of Jesus Christ. Racism is about valuing one race over another. Jesus came for the world, every single person. The heart that believes one race is more valuable than another is a sinful heart in need of God’s transforming grace.
Jesus spoke of the kingdom, a theology of grace. Because of his death and resurrection, a transformation can happen in our attitude toward our own race and culture as well as to those belonging to other races and cultures.
In his book Bloodlines: Race, Cross, and the Christian, John Piper (2011) wisely points out, “The bloodline of Jesus Christ is deeper than the bloodlines of race. The death and resurrection of the Son of God for sinners is the only sufficient power to bring the bloodlines of race into the single bloodline of the cross” (pp. 13-14).
It was unbelievable to watch a group called “Unite the Right” march in Charlottesville with torches lit, chanting hateful phrases. It was moving to watch the clergy of Charlottesville stand, kneel, and lock arms in silent protest. Their action proclaimed that White supremacy is a lie. Linked together, they powerfully embodied the love of Jesus on a very dark day.
What does a non-violent, Christian and cruciform response look like to the hatred in Charlottesville? There is much wisdom in the words of, Etty Hillesum, a Dutch Jewish woman, who fought courageously to save as many as she could from the horrors of Auschwitz and ultimately succumbed to the gas chambers. She wrote of her captors:
Like us, they too, are bearers of the Divine image however deeply marred and buried it may be, and so they are people to whom we belong. To remove from the mind the label of enemy’ is like removing the blinds from a window and letting the light in. If you will not hate them, then you may begin to see them. We should be willing to act as a balm for all wounds. (Woodhouse, P. 2009. Etty Hillesum: A Life Transformed.)
In our outrage at those who dehumanize others, we do not respond with dehumanizing words or actions because to do so causes us to lose our witness. This world is broken, but God is whole. So we continually ask Him to draw us into wholeness, and to allow us to live out a third way – one that is not “the left” or the right” but altogether different because it is led by Jesus himself. He leads us into being unpredictable people of peace, just in all we say and do each day.
In his very interesting article in Time this week, Brian McLaren spoke about what he saw in Charlottesville as he joined with clergy in protest. McLaren describes the movement as an “alt-religious” movement that is providing disenchanted people with identity, community and purpose. This, he says, is what religious communities do. They provide people with a sense of identity (a personal sense of who we are), community (a social sense of where we belong), and purpose (a spiritual sense of why our lives matter).
If faith communities don’t provide these healthy life-giving human needs, then death-dealing alt-religions will fill the gap…. In Charlottesville, I saw Nazi flags on American soil and alt religious fervor in the faces of American Nazis and white nationalists. The message I will bring to faith leaders around our nation is both urgent and clear: Aristotle was right. Nature indeed abhors a vacuum. If we don’t provide emerging generations with genuine identity, community and purpose through robust and vibrant spiritual communities, somebody else will do so. If good religion slumbers and stagnates, bad religion is the alternative. (http://time.com/4915161/charlottesville-alt-right-alt-christianity/)
So Platt Park Church, what we are building together matters. It matters far beyond our personal enjoyment of the music, message, or community. Together we are building an environment where people can come to find a deep and true identity, community, and purpose for life.
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Yard Culture and the Landscapes of Life

by susiegradeLeave a Comment on Yard Culture and the Landscapes of Life
A few years ago, we moved into our neighborhood which I adore. When we moved in, I said to Tim, “This place has a yard culture.” He said, “A yard culture? What’s a yard culture?” I took him outside and had him look down the street at our neighbor’s lawns, which were by and large green, groomed and tidy. We live in a beautiful historic urban neighborhood. Most people take pride in their manicured lawns. Since this is the city, it is a postage stamp sized yard, so these are not big sprawling spaces. Once we noticed this, we fell in line. We lined up a lawn care service and got out there ourselves to pull weeds, plant flowers and try to keep things green.
This summer I’ve been noticing landscapes. When I travel to the mountains, there is not much yard culture–aspens, columbines, poppies and weeds grow wild and free together While visiting Israel, I was struck by the different landscapes of desert, mountain, and sea–the Dead Sea, the Sea of Galilee, and the desolate Wadi Qelt of Saint Georges Monastery (pictured above).
Our souls also have landscapes. We have seasons of lush, green, fruitful living when the beauty and consolation of God’s provision and blessings abound. And we have seasons of dry, arid, seeming deadness and lack. Here the brutal is front and center and the desolation of our circumstances and interior world seem without hope.
In all of these seasons, God is present. In all of these seasons, there is an invitation to grow. In all of these seasons there are gifts if we are awake to see.
Sometimes we need to throw out our neat and tidy lawn mowers and embrace that wild and free landscape that our souls long for. Some days, we need to wake up with no agenda, no devices, and no productivity. Just as beautiful things grow in the unmanicured landscape of the mountains and desert, so beauty blooms in me when I allow space to follow my heart.
“If you cannot go into the desert, you must nonetheless make some desert in your life.” -Carlo Carretto, Letters from the Desert
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On Creating

by susiegradeLeave a Comment on On Creating
Creating and nurturing life requires vulnerability. Birth is messy. Isn’t it interesting that creating new life is the most vulnerable and messy act imaginable? The same is true of all creating. In fact, there is no creating without risk and risk always involves vulnerability. You cannot create anything without vulnerability and risk.
If you want to create something beautiful with your one and only life, it will require vulnerability and risk of you. Playing it safe and being mess-averse keeps you in control but it won’t birth new creation.
The good news is that when we are vulnerable we can remember that we hold the hand of One who has defeated a far greater foe than any challenge we may face in our creative journeys.
So, what will you co-create with God today?
Parenting, Pastoral Leadership, Spiritual Life, Uncategorized

When People Leave

by susiegradeLeave a Comment on When People Leave

On a regular basis people come to our church, and on a regular basis people leave our church. For all sorts of reasons, they leave. This is the painful part of being a pastor. I am so very grateful that more people are coming than going these days, but every person who leaves is a loss not just to the church in an abstract way but a loss to me personally, and to our staff. As a pastor I hold people in my heart in a deep way, and I carry their stories with me. It is not a matter of “if” people will leave our church; it is rather a matter of “when.” After all, weather by God’s calling elsewhere, or entropy, or death – we are all on a journey. Each goodbye is painful, sometimes heart-wrenching. I think that just as it is in friendship, we will have our “communities of faith” for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Some friendships are for a reason, others a season, and some for a lifetime. Our churches are like that too. To be in a church for a lifetime is a rare and beautiful gift, and if you are given this gift, cherish it. Evelena is 94 years old and has been walking through the doors of our church building since she was 14. That is a rare and precious gift. She is a rare and precious gift whom we cherish.

When we decided to adopt a child from China, we imagined a child who was all alone, perhaps in a crib, with little attention or love. After we were “matched” with Lyla, we came to discover quite a different story! Lyla was in a home with the most fabulous and loving foster family. Hulu, her foster mom, immediately began video chatting with me daily so that Lyla could get to know her new mom even months before we met. We would send videos back and forth each day and I would sing to Lyla and read her stories and Hulu would play those videos for Lyla when we were still millions of miles apart. So when we finally met Lyla face-to-face, she already had been prepared in countless ways to be family.

The journey of a foster family is one of loving deeply and fully, and then letting go. Letting go is the final act of love. It is a picture of sacrificial love that is vulnerable, beautiful, and impossible to fully honor.

Hulu and her family gave Lyla (and us) a gift – the gift of loving Lyla and then letting her go. They will always love Lyla in their hearts, but they held her loosely in their hands, knowing one day she would no longer be in their home, though she will always be in their hearts. This is the excruciating work of love.

So here is how I am coming to cope with the dynamic of loving & loosing that is inherent to ministry. Sometimes as a church we are an adoptive family, and other times we are a foster family. We don’t always know which one we will get to be when someone walks through our doors. But, either way our job is the same: love people. Love people like family. Love people deeply, fully, and without fear. If the possibility of someone leaving tomorrow keeps me from loving them fully today, then fear wins. And scripture says, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear…” 1 Jo. 4:18

Maybe someone will leave because their time with us was only for a reason or a season. I want to be Hulu in these moments of departure. Like Hulu I will cry, I will grieve, I may even wish it were different. And at the exact same time I will remember: this is what we are made to do. We are made to love, and sometimes loving means letting go. And so the door of my heart remains open towards the person who leaves so that they can go where God leads them with my love and blessing. And if they ever need this family again – we are here. We are here. We are always here. We will love you when you come, and we will love you as you go. We will love you when you fall away and flake out, and if you choose to return, we will love you then as well. After all, our job is to love one another as we have been loved by God.

Our weekly benediction says, “May the peace of the Lord Christ go with you, wherever He may send you. May He guide you through the wilderness, protect you through the storm, may He bring you home rejoicing at the wonders He has shown you, may He bring you home rejoicing – once again into our doors.”

Hulu and I still regularly exchange photos, and she continues to send Lyla the most amazing gifts. As Lyla’s mom, I am forever grateful that Lyla has so many people all around the world who love her so deeply. So for those of you who have left our flock, and for those of you who may, please know that you will always have a special place in my heart. I’m honored to be one of the pastors in this world who has played a small part in your journey.

Someday, Lyla and I will go visit Hulu again in China….”once again into her doors.”

Susie